8/01/2003

From a diary, purportedly circa 1920, lately exhumed from the basement of a junkshop in Tangiers

Heat—old nemesis—stole over cheeks. Not even wind down there could cool them. Must have looked a perfect mess, can see that now. W/ head like big tomato on skinny neck. & here is the jeune fille, soft & quiet. Dune by starlight. Eyes, wide-open, color of canal. Lazy blue. Or green. Shame I saw in them? Maybe at first. Me: grinning idiot looking on what no men bar her fr. & bro. were to see. W/ veil in my hands. Like I’d caught a kitten fallen from tree. Wind damn near whisked it away. But no blush. No color in cheeks. Except honey-color.

& was there something else besides presumable embarrassment? Can’t decide. Perhaps in moment just before she snatched veil back & wrapped it smartly around head again. Or when eyes blazed through opening. Anger: maybe. But interest?

Of course not, fool. Don’t dream. Always your problem at orphanage. Too dreamy to get up and walk out. You’re not going to dream anymore. So why call after her just before she disappears around corner? “What’s your name?” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But: she answered! Claire. Claire. Claire de Lune. Now here’s me: dirty cot, ratty room, tiny porthole open on filthy slum. Can still smell her, though. & feel the phantom fabric rippling in my fingers. Lighter than it looks. This will be no dream. Tomorrow I find her. Claire de Lune.

7/29/2003

Run, Derek, Run!

I am still unclear on whether California election law stipulates that signatures on a candidacy petition have to come from registered California voters, or U.S. citizens, or what, but I hope that you'll consider supporting my old buddy Derek Teslik in the gubernatorial race. He'll make a fine governor, and certainly can't do worse than Gray Davis! Perhaps this will be the start of bigger things for Mr. Teslik. To pledge your support, you'll need to visit teslik2003.blogspot.com. I can think of no more fitting tribute than Elise's: "He's no more or less qualified than Arnold Schwarzenegger!"

7/28/2003

In Which is assessed the number of procedures assisted at by Hot Face at Dr. Demoto's Dentateria

Tooth cleanings: 412
Cavity fillings: 537
X-rays: 321
Mandible shatterings: 17
Crownings: 53
Maxillofacial restructurings: 4
Molar enhancements: 22
Root canals: 190
Cosmetic smashings: 13
Underbite-to-overbite adjustments: 41
Overbite-to-underbite normalizations: 41
Tongue enhancement surgeries: 8
Scrapings: 787
Gougings: 619
Pokings: 692
Deep-gum drillings: 48
Total cranial replacements: 1
Canine bypass enamel graftings (CBEGs): 5
Complete defangings: 25
Force-flossings: 265
Shamings: 412
Denture installations: 146